24
Apr-09

Alcoholic’s > Social Drinker’s > Non Teetotaller’s Guide to getting married and still continue drinking

Let’s face it. You’ve been a happy bachelor every since you remember. You’ve enjoyed drinking and partying since college. No worries, nobody to question you, your parents either you’ve managed to hide this habit nicely or they have lost all hopes after endless advice. Your money, your life and you are livin it up all this while.

Now suddenly you realize that you are getting old and need to settle down. Either you have found a girl to get married to or preparations are at full swing at home to get you married. Either ways “Change Is Coming”. How will life be after marriage? Do I have to stop drinking? Can’t I hang out with friends ever again over a couple of drinks? Will my wife mistake me to be an alcoholic? Should I hide the fact that I drink from her? If you have all this queries and confusions hovering, read on….. This post also is equally suitable for people who are about to get married soon, planning to get married or already married.

Let’s face it, drinking, may it be drinking every night, binge drinking on weekends or just  socializing over a couple of shots on a Saturday night, everything is generalized as “DRINKING” in our Indian society and it is still considered an anti-social activity. But, encouragingly, the current generation women are a bit relaxed about this. Just a BIT and nothing more than that. Below are few pointers to be followed to achieve our objective.

Be truthful: The most important thing for any relationship, may it be friendship, business or marriage is being truthful .So don’t hide the truth, but in the same time, don’t overdo it  ;) If the girl already does not know, at lighter moments mention that you drink socially, with your friends etc, make her comfortable with it and don’t just throw all the facts on her face to shock and upset her. The key here is to make her understand that drinking is not evil and it’s okay to drink once in a while. It may take some time, for her to understand this fact, might be easy for some, and might be difficult for some. Give her time to understand, just don’t keep repeating or keep talking about it.

Take her out, gain confidence: The best way to make your wife to be okay and accustom to the fact is to take her out for parties. Weekend dinner party at a friend’s place or an office cocktail dinner are a few examples. Make sure she has company there so that she just doesn’t need to spend time just by staring at you drinking. Make sure that you don’t overdo it and just have enough to be in perfect control and ensure you behave the way you behave when not drunk. The key here is, slowly, with time, gain her confidence and make her understand and realize, that even when you drink you are in perfect control, you don’t get drunk and act funny and drinking is just a social event and not evil. Ensure, in these parties that none of your friends don’t get drunk, puke, get knocked off etc. This might have a negative impact and might spoil the whole plan.

Stay in control: As mentioned earlier, when you are out with your wife and you drink, or when you stay at home and drink, always stay in control, very very rare exceptions (later, not in the beginning) are okay. A woman always wants to feel protected. So if you drink and pass out, she feels that you are not able to protect her and it creates a negative impact.

Never Hide: If sometime you reach home after a couple of drinks, never hide! NO, vodka is not odourless, it stinks too. NO, beeda, halls, chewing gum does not hide it!! It is important that you always never hide and be truthful on where and with whom did you drink. Also if you are going to be home late and out with your friends, keep her informed. Plan it ahead so that you can inform her a couple of days earlier or atleast call her before you go out. Wives get anxious and tensed, quicker than you think.

Spend time with her and don’t overdo / balance the act: Even if your wife is okay with you drinking, don’t overdo it. Don’t drink every time you go out for dinners or out for a movie or a party. Don’t make every Saturday a party night. It is very important you strike a balance. Take her out for movies, the beach, to the relatives etc in a sober state and spend time with her. Face it, she might be bored when you take her out (when you are drinking), you have fun then. You need to balance that and let her have fun too and for a woman, more than anything and anywhere else, the greatest fun, joy and happiness is spending time with her husband 

Never Skip: Don’t skip house chores, family functions and other social activities citing you are too tired from previous day’s drinking, a hangover or that you need to go out to have fun. Remember, ultimately, your family life is more important.

Don’ts:

  1. Never, ever expose too much, the crazy things that you did while drunk as a bachelor. It will scare her and make her unconfident about you drinking
  2. Never, ask or offer your wife to drink, unless she wants to try. IMHO, if both husband and wife drink, it’s not going to work out
  3. When you have kids and as you get older, your priorities must slowly change. Realize that it’s time to slow down and shift your time and energy towards your offspring and family
  4. Never get into an argument, over ANYTHING with your wife when you are drunk. Never. Just push it for the next day morning.

Just a few pointers! Do it your own way. Have fun, Cheers!

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  • karthik

    Hey,
    Just a doubt here. Can you pl elaborate on why wont it work out if both husband and wife drink? I was looking for a girl with whom i can share my drink with..!! :(

    • http://www.kosukadi.com KosuKadi

      Good Question. My perspective on the article is considering the scenario where only the husband drinks :)

  • Shamitha

    “if both husband and wife drink, it’s not going to work out”?!
    Drips chauvinism…

    • http://www.kosukadi.com KosuKadi

      @Shamitha , I have already mentioned in the 1st comment, that this article was written for a scenario where only the guy drinks. Unfortunately, I don’t have the experience where the woman drinks as well, so that’s why I couldn’t write about it. If you can share some ideas for such a scenario, Kindly share it here. Thanks

  • mala

    this post is pretty informative…. but im sure most women are not weak lil ol things that drop senseless every time the word booze is mentioned! and some women drink too. ts not a thing only reserved for men.